This blog is eye opening. There is so much to write about … and much more NOT to write about! It feels like personal dark matter: there’s an unimaginable amount of it around. Unlike dark matter, however, I can see it, but no one else should. It’s taboo … forbidden. In my case, it isn’t forbidden by anyone, it’s just that I don’t want to go there because it is none of your damn business! I’ll share it with my wife and my therapist. Period.
A large portion of this adventure is about visiting family. I have this theory about why God invented families: families force us to get to know and spend time with people who we would either never have a chance to get to know or, if we did get to know them, they might never enter into our circle of friends. Family makes us better people despite the craziness.
I think the ratio of dark matter to the observable universe is about 95 : 5. The ratio of stuff I won’t write about to stuff that I will is about the same. Maybe it’s because I don’t think it would be fun or interesting. Mostly, though, I just don’t think it would have any value. If you are interested in the human insanity surrounding me, you shouldn’t be.
My friend/teacher/mentor Howard Zinn once said in an interview that, “All history is subjective, all history represents a point of view. History is always a selection from an infinite number of facts, and everybody makes the selection differently based on their values and what they think is important.” This blogging experience adds depth and meaning to that already deep and meaningful thought.
Then there is the crossover point of public reflection. If an experience or encounter makes me think of something important, isn’t that worth taking in and perhaps even worth sharing? Maybe so, but carefully. How much transparency is too much? How much honesty? Some people give birth or experience death publicly. Good for them. Others of us hold some things sacred and private. Good for us. I hope that at some point, I make sense out of some of this internal debate. For now, it is what it is: some experiences are just taboo. Maybe at some point, I will figure out why.
myinnersociologist 
Ken, of course the first question is, “things such as?” Just to get us into the ball park, so to speak.
I think I have mentioned that I am intending to write a series of stories from my life, vignettes I remember, some funny, some touching, some happy and some dark. I’ve written only one of these so far, but have written lots more in my head.
A propos of your post, there are some I’ll never commit to paper because they are too hurtful to people I care about. There are some that I think are wonderful and touching that the most significant person in my life feels are too personal, then there are the rest. There are plenty of the rest and I can occupy myself for years just writing those. The question is, if you leave out the hurtful or the too personal, do you skew the whole picture. Undoubtedly yes, but how important is it really to present a perfectly accurate picture (from one’s own perspective of course) compared to sparing people you care deeply about? To me the answer is easy – sparing people pain is more important. Nonetheless, getting the bad stuff written down is a form of expiation, even if no one else ever sees it. But once you write it, how can you really be sure no one else will ever see it? Do you write it because, subconsciously, you want someone to see it? Why else would you write it?
So much for going through the looking glass. Time to resume normal service
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I love the analogy of dark matter and taboo topics we don’t talk about! Yep, about the same ratio–although I try to shed a bit more light on the darkness in my writing 🙂 Also, Howard Zinn is your friend? No way! Does my Dad know this?
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